I said to him, “you will never be able to see me with your mind and you are looking only with your mind…look with your heart.”  And that is the tricky thing for some.  Sometimes we can be sure we are looking with our heart, but we are not.  How do we know which is which…or when?

If you genuinely love the other, you are looking with your heart.

You will feel love going back and forth.  It will circulate.  A desire to support the other wherever they are at will present itself like sunlight through cloud cover.  Where does it come from?  It can come from loss.  It is like a fragrance that both people exude, because they are a flower of loss, a flower emerged from that place.

Compassion for the other emerges in concordance with a deep knowing that they suffer, like we have suffered.  We see blindness and do not feel angry about their blindness because we too have had to feel our way along razor wire past.  We see their lack of humility and can hear our own rooster crowing memories.  Feeling into another is different than thinking about another.  And the idea of who a person is, collapses under the weight of what they are hurting from.

I feel it like this, it is like a sun inside every heart.  See it.  Feel the warmth from it. Everyone born with it.  Everything born with it.  But the things we do here, the things we go through here, and the very act of being human, these things are written in block print letters all over our heart.  Every unresolved one of them criss crosses over top on one another.  They heap.  They become so blended that it can be hard to discern one phrase from another.  The heart in the sun, that bright disc, now shines out from behind this amalgam.  And what we see, is the personality.  The “person” who exists in between the sun and all the shadows.  It’s beautiful, awful, dreadful and wonderful all at once.  It’s necessary and meaningless at the finest point of logic that we could come here and go through such a transformation…but we do.

When we start saying the words, that we see, when we look into our heart, we have the gift of articulate sight.  It gives you the ability to look into the sun in another and see the words there, the ones that stand out strong against the backlight.  You know what FEAR looks like, because you looked for and can speak about your own.  So you can see it in another.  And if you made peace with your fear, for example, it is so much easier to love when you see it in another.  And what happens when fear is held in the hands of love?  What happens when a person with fear all over their heartlight, backlit powerfully…feels you seeing it?  What can happen when they feel your acceptance?  It can’t be faked.  Compassion cannot be faked.  The mind can be fooled.  But the energetic body will not be.  When another feels that you can articulate what you see, they recognize, perhaps for the first time…the gift of being seen.  They will feel in that moment, that the truth about them isn’t all the grief covering their heart.  They may feel a flash of seeing that their personality is a codex, a rubrick, to understanding how to open their heart.  If you are very lucky, just by loving yourself…you may find it is their right moment to talk about what they see, when they look at their heart.  But it won’t happen because you love yourself.  You don’t make it happen.  And yet, without you, it would not.  Just as everyone has to be shown how to hate themselves and is a learned behavior.  Loving yourself is as well.  So, here we are as adults, learning to love ourselves.  Here we are, backlit, all the time.  Backlit, all day long.  Will you find someone to trust?  Will you talk about what you see…even to yourself?  I hope you do, because you are worth it.

Take your time with it.  Be gentle with yourself.  And after that…when with others…take your time with them, be gentle with them.  Let them show you how to listen.  And when you do that…you have taught them, how to listen to themselves.  We need each other for wholeness…