I have to say that I had no idea that my recent POSTING earlier today would stir up what it did for so many.  In between yoga out in the meadow under my favorite tree in the grass…I had many emails, some donations, and well…just a lot of great interactions with well wishing people.  It helped me a lot to have people to bounce this whole thing off of.  With each person I was able to crystallize better within myself why charging or working in exchange for something is not my path.

Just recently…10 minutes ago…I responded to another very kind hearted person with something that felt like a very accurate distillation of my “work” and I wanted to share it here:

Thanks so much for these ideas. I had no idea that so many would write with concern or the desire to help. Really. I could just thank you and leave it at that but I will explain a bit more about why I cannot charge for healing work. I have no problem getting paid for “work”. But this is something I am. Not something I offer or something I do. It is what all of us are all the time. In a very real sense, it isn’t even healing work that I am offering at all. It is just reflectant Presence that reminds others of the truth of their being. If you take away the clients and the donations…I am still doing exactly the same thing all day long. A moment spent with a client is no different than a moment without that client. Nothing changes. I have a very good idea about how this could be supported if I was not a householder. But alas, here I am. With kids. So, it is life like this, with kids and all the mainstream stuff. It isn’t awful. It just isn’t financially sustainable to keep myself wide open and available for sessions when my account is going dry. But believe me, it never crosses my mind to charge money or even to do work in exchange for donation. When you put a price tag on being who you are naturally are…something is lost. But I have no problem with going out and finding a job that uses my mind…that is what the mind is for it seems…a way to help make money and navigate the material world. But my heart stays free…no fees no exchanges. That is just me and I love it that way.

I also had a great dialogue with another person much earlier in the day.  This person was asking about what I was saying and what my meaning may be behind a certain phrase.  I run into this a lot…the natural limitation of expressing all perspective available in a 2-D format known as “blogging”.  I also wanted to share that response here as well….

“When I post anything nowadays it is with joy and sadness.  All the wonderful kinds though.  Joy at the expression and a definite sadness that I cannot possibly express all that is here.  I always accept that it is not possible to say one thing only, very clearly, for what I wrote will be heard differently by every reader….When I write it is always just what comes out in that moment.  Honesty over unachievable accuracy.  But never able to be fully honest.  The only times I am completely heard is in silence when looking someone right in the eyes.  No filter. “ 

Honestly, it seems that all that I ever do is share more of who I am, as I learn more of who I am, and not.  Relaying my experience gives others something to work with and also crystallizes things for me, refines things.  Here is a new one that I also relayed today that I have been spending time with for the last week.  Presented below is my half only of the conversation…

But I do not do the seeing.

The seeing shows up uninvited. Same for all of us…in time. Or in the right timing.

Think of it like peripheral vision…if you look at it…you can’t see well at all.  But from the side, on the periphery it is clear. But you can’t look at it.

Lately i have been experiencing people like strings on a guitar or a piano and seeing that everyone is connected in this way…but that for some connections, for all of us…it shortens the string- creating a very high vibration.  Others in our lives create a long deep vibration…

I have noted that I seem to be a very shortened string for people…creating a high note very quickly.  When the connection is made I am in touch with a resonant body.  Their  energetic field becomes a resonant body that I am acquainted with, just like a guitar sound can be easily heard when you are in front of it, but you can’t “look” for the sound. You feel it.  That is what I mean.

And that is why I only work with a few people at a time. It takes time and patience to listen like that.

The other and final interesting thing to come from today’s sharing in general is I realized how much bilocation I experience.  By this I mean that once I am connected with someone it is literally sensing or touching a guitar or piano string that goes directly to them.  Again, I know that we all do this, we all have this connection.  But FEELING it is different than knowing it.  And LOVING what you sense there is DIFFERENT than just feeling it.  Bilocation is what happens when you feel what is present for you and present for another when they are not physically located next to you.  It is the connection over the perception of distance.  I know that for me, I seem to experience it a lot with people.  That string just keeps vibrating.  If I am working with 4 people a week, for example, it means that for that week I am tuned into them, literally.  I want to stress here that there is no effort required.  It just IS.  I feel it is part of what helps “clients” somehow.  Because in a very real sense, I am with them at all times, especially when things are intense for them.  It is hard to express enough though how it isn’t on purpose.  I am making more sense to myself though, through writing all this out.  I have wondered myself for years about why I do not work with more people.  And people have asked me why my new retreats only offer spots for 4 people.  This is why.  How many guitars can be listened to at once? How many pianos?

It is a beautiful thing, to be able to really really hear where another is at.  If i were busier with healing work, I would not be able to listen as deeply.  I found my groove without meaning to.

Once, like 6 years ago, a mentor of mine chuckled at me.  She said “Charlie you are so funny. You still think there is a difference between working with one person and working with a hundred.”  I was perplexed, like it was a trick question.  She finished with “it is all one…the same person, the same heart, the numbers don’t matter.”  And since the awakening the numbers have not mattered.  But they still have left me scratching my head as to why such a small number.  Only lately do I see how perfect it has been.  It was what was sustainable by my system.  This is a lovely pace.

Well, that was an interesting day.  Have a lovely night.